that's what i tell myself every time i see you.
you said you'd never leave me. you said you'd never let me cry alone. you promised me that i never would have to solve my problems alone.
you fucking lied to me. now i'm no longer your girl, because she is.
you're going to tell her your lies, our lies, that made our relationship this perfect. i'm scared that you're going to leave her alone like you did when i was yours, but i'm more scared that you won't.
i don't know what i'm hoping for while hearing the sound of your voice. your voice solved all my problems and now it's the only problem i have to solve.
and it scares me just to know that this feeling for you won't ever change. that you're going to be happy and, mostly, going to be happy with or without me.
but there's no one else to blame but me and i think that this is the hardest feeling.
being disappointed in myself.
i didn't eat or went to school or went out for 5 days now. i'm not hungry or thursty. i don't feel anything, i can't even shower without thinking of you.
i don't think that i can ever get over this cutting thing without you a second time. it went so well. and now? look at me, you made a mess out of me.
i still love you. more than i thought i ever could. i love you, but you just don't. you're in love with her now and i'm not important anymore. but, well, thank you for being there when no one else was. thank you for the past 8 months. i love you.
